Let's talk about what's new..

Well, there are a few new things that have happened in the quest to find new friends and potentially a dating partner that I feel the need to share.

First, let's talk about some of the funny emails I have gotten in the past few days. These are all responses to the profile (below) on craigslist. Now, craigslist is a tricky little monster, and it takes guts to go for glory there. It's kinda like those duck pond games you play at the fair. You throw your net in and have NO IDEA what you will come out with!

To give you an idea, here are a few snippets from emails that I laughed my butt off over. Up to bat, the GOOD:

"R" in response to what we would do on a first 'date':

For a first date, I think that we should hang out at the nude park on swingers night. Then we can drive to Reno, elope, smoke a bowl, kill a bunch of people, then ourselves. Did I cover everything? Just kidding by the way, I hope you figured that out. If not, please put down the phone and tell the cops never mind. Seriously, I would like to get a drink or coffee or whatever and sit down and talk. Get to know each other and go from there.

That one won some brownie points. There are prizes for brownie points at 20, 40, and 100!

"D" who is way younger than my required minimum age of 30 writes:

Why would you want a borring old 40 year old? When we could be surfing, windsrfing , rock climbing, or like how would you go to a party with a 40 yr old he would want to leave by eleven. Thats when you start to get borring is about 40 now you may have your own reason to want a 40 year old but I will give yu a good reason to be with a 25 year old, ok # 1-Im 25-#2- you reach your sexual peak at about 23to27 not that you are lookingfor sex but if you do get intimate hes gonna be like hold on babe lemme get my viagra that leads me to #4 - old balls and I am going to stop there YOU ARE WAY TO CUTE to be kikin it with some old guy and If you are looking for a maturity level then dont look at age I know some 18 year olds that are more mature than some 50 year olds I know HOWEVER age IS just a NUMBER But Time is Real and its about time that you get with some one your own age whos diaper you wont have to change some day :) j/k but for reals haha im just JOSHIN YA GURL you seem cool enough

No brownie points here, because of the obvious inability to use spellcheck, but I was most amused!

"T" writes:

I do have a degree in criminal justice and have never been in trouble with the police. I actually have several friends that work for APD. So I won’t need to call my po and tell them that I’m going to leave the house.

Yes, this is important. I should add that to my profile somewhere: Must not be on parole. You'd be surprised how much that should actually BE a disclaimer! But, then again, this is craigslist we're discussing.

The not so good:

Ok, moving away from the craigslist emails, let's take a few moments to go over what you should NOT do if you're attempting to build a friendship with any hopes of ever dating me. Well, anyone I would think, but me specifically:

1-Please do not call me 'baby' after we have talked exactly 15 minutes, ever. This is a bit creepy. I don't mind that you're telling me that your goal is to find someone to share life with and be everything to you, but when you start calling me by pet names normally reserved for that special someone in your life, well it begins to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my entire brain screams "STALKER!". I don't like stalkification, unless you're stalkifying my blog because you find me amusing. That kind is ok.

2-If we are hanging out, and I get 2 texts in 4 hours which I happen to respond to, it is not good form to throw a giant fit. Now, I will digress and say I have written about this exact subject, but there is a huge difference between 2 texts in 4 hours telling friends that I already have plans, and texting for 1/2 the time you're with someone and sharing your sexting adventures. One is acceptable in most circles (the first one for those who are unsure) and one is, well, bad form.

3-If you feel the need to send me pictures of the areas of your body that should never been seen unless you are in a bedroom or a hospital, well..let's just say that we're not even going to get to the friendship level. Now, don't get me wrong, I am decidedly heterosexual and I can appreciate the differences between men and women, but really?? I have no desire to see your business, sir, as a 'hi this is me' picture-or in pictures ever most likely. Not to mention, most of the ones I get this way, well are just not impressive. So you've struck out in 2 different ways! Not so good for you, but amusing for me.

And that, batfans will do it for today. I am quite certain that I will have more fodder soon..so stay tuned!